Best office hallway quote:
"I want to go see Sin City tonight, but I have to go to Europe."
Best bad news-related joke I made up:
So did you hear First Lady Laura Bush recently fired the White House chef? Evidently, his servings were too liberal.
Best "The Onion" headline imitation that's unfortunately real news:
Voice of America Makes Move to Hong Kong
To save $300,000 a year, the official broadcasting service of the U.S. government is moving most of its news operations to Hong Kong despite the fact that China is known to occasionally jam Voice of America broadcasts. So now the U.S. has stooped to delegating its own "voice." It seems we're one step away from posting signs around D.C. that read "Outsourcing Sale! Everything must go!"