Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Two questions: Who is this Andy Samberg and why isn't he my boyfriend? If you're wondering who Andy is yourself, he's the shaggy haired partner to Chris Parnell in the SNL video I linked in the previous entry.
Any guy who can profess his love for Magnolia cupcakes and the crazy delicious joys of intermingled Mr. Pibb and Red Vines with such unequivocal bravado is my kinda hombre. Unfortunately, I found out about him after he and two of his The Lonely Island peeps got hauled away by Lorne Michaels to revive the lumbering comedy show. Now Andy will be swimming in poontang. My timing sucks.
In other news, I've decided what I want for Christmas. I just need to e-mail the chubby red-suited guy my request:
I've been a very good girl, despite the poopy things that happened to me this year. In light of this, I'm making a bit of an unusual request.
Santa, for my Christmas present, I would like to be cast as the female lead in a major motion picture. Here's the pitch. This film tells the story of two men, a bookish orthinologist with a wickedly wry wit (played by Ralph Fiennes, natch) and a tenderhearted, introspective surgeon with breathtaking sexual prowess (played by Alexander Siddig, my Syriana crush who is pictured below). These two men are locked in a lifelong battle for the love of an honorable woman (played by moi), an impeccably attired sculptress who works exclusively in marble. Who will win the ever-so-worthy heart of this fair maiden? Why, I could spend a blissful fortnight outlining the plethora of possible scenarios, but joint custody just feels right.
Now, Santa, I know financing a film of this scope with this kind of blue-ribbon talent will cost a pretty penny, so I want you to know I'm willing to work for scale. See what you can do. Love to the missus.