Show time

I'm approximately 48 hours away from my first improv show in front of a real audience. Holy todelo, I'm gonna be sweating floorboards the night of our improv class's premiere. I haven't told too many peeps about this, because I want to do it under cover of night. I want to make sure I don't freeze like Cindy Brady when it's lights, camera, action time before I invite friends to watch.

The good news is the people in my class are talented, funny and play well with others. And one of them is going to teach me a breathing technique that is supposed to enlarge my aura. I will tell him that I'd like to get my aura to the largest size possible, but not so big that I can't squeeze through a doorway without sucking in my belly.

While watching the "biggest finale ever" of America's Next Top Model (that's right, I watch it, bucko) this week, I was inspired by the words of America's Previous Top Model, Naima, when she coached this season's wannabes before their scary catwalk challenge. She advised that they could take their nervous energy and turn it into something really powerful and exciting. (I'm paraphrasing, but I think I captured the spirit of Naima's words.) As Tyra would say, that's really fierce.

I think between supersizing my aura and Naima's guidance, I'm gonna be able to ward off the Cindy Brady Syndrome with grit and grace. If not, the experience will at least be an entertaining, however personally horrifying, story.

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In other news, even though she doesn't wash her hands after using the restroom, I'm getting a girl crush on the hilarious writer Jill Soloway (author of the previously linked diamond story). Her brain works in marvelous ways and she's got a wickedly witty book out called Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants. Check it out, yo.