Fished in

I didn't want to like it, but I did. The much nominated-biopic "Ray" was actually very entertaining. That's one type of storytelling that "Hollywood" has down pat.

I was touched and transported and all that good stuff, not to mention awestruck by the incredible achievements that Ray Charles made in his lifetime despite overwhelming physical and racial obstacles. I've never been a big fan of his music, but the way the songs were integrated into the story was masterful. And the acting was terrific throughout. I understand the Jamie Foxx fuss now.

I can't believe I got suckered by Oscar bait, but with all those hooks how could I help it?

He does not own the sky

Well, it looks like the only difference between the Golden Globes and the Oscars this year will be the seating accomodations and the dresses. Yawnarific!

I am curious about "The Aviator," mostly wondering how Cate Blanchett does Hepburn, but won't check it out since I have an allergic reaction every time I see Leonardo di Crapio (symptoms include wanting to de-smugify his face with an SOS pad dampened with spittle and baking soda).

I was reading a fawning interview with Bill Murray in Esquire magazine (hey, I would fawn, too, given the opportunity) and was impressed with his "it just doesn't matter..." (name that movie reference) attitude about not winning an Oscar for "Lost in Translation":

"And the thing is, the movie is the prize. In time, nobody remembers who won the damn Oscar; they just remember the movie if it was good. If you had said to me, 'You could be in Mystic River and win the Oscar or you could be in your movie and not win'--not a fuckin' chance. No contest."

In other news, I think my Margaret Cho-lookalike neighbor must be turning tricks to afford all the take-out she orders.

What happens in Venice stays in Venice

With some hesitation at the thought I might be seeing a Hallmark Hall of Fame-type adaptation, I went to see the film "The Merchant of Venice" this weekend. I ended up being swept up into its darkly sumptuous production values, richly detailed costuming and Renaissance-painterly cinematography.

The actors were quite good, too. Al Pacino masters a slow burn with downcast eyes, Joseph Fiennes smirks and preens with Errol Flynn perfection and Jeremy Irons pines away deep within his fur-trimmed robe. A very nice surprise is Lynn Collins, who is luminous and watchable as Portia, but riveting in her "disguised" role late in the film. I think the Bard would heartily approve.

Eye yi yi

Today my eye doctor told me that I'm healing up well and can start to get back to normal life stuff. Hooray for normal life stuff! I tell you, there's nothing quite as scary as thinking you might be down one eye.

Almost as freaky is knowing I now have a plastic buckle helping to hold my retina in place. Gross to think of, but fascinating, too. Since my sister is a surgery nurse, she has friends with access to medical devices and one of them took it upon herself to mail me a sample of the buckle in my eye.

I didn't know whether to thank her or slap her as I rolled the alarmingly flimsy looking piece of plastic (that might have served as a faucet washer in less medically advanced days) across my hand.

Then I had an evil thought--to take the sample to my next doctor's appointment, hidden in a pocket. When the doctor's back was turned, my plan would have been to slip the buckle into my hand and say something low-key like, "Hey, doc. Last night I was watching TV and suddenly sneezed REALLY hard. Then this thing popped out of my eye. What do you make of it?"

Some jokes are better abandoned in the planning stages, I wager.

I shot an elephant in my pajamas

My favorite Golden Globe moment was on the red carpet when an interviewer asked Johnny Depp what his dream role was. He dryly replied that he'd like to play Mae West, but was afraid he'd gotten too old for the part. Interview girl just blinked blankly at him, not even realizing she was in the presence of a zinger.

In other news, if I could go back in time I'd like to appear in a Marx Brothers movie.

Thank you.

Top 10 movies of 2004

1. Dogville

I know, I know, it looks dull and a bit too "important" for its own good with its around three hour running time, dusky color scheme and photo stills of Nicole Kidman looking haggard, but this was the most moving and remarkable film of the year. Its theater-style presentation grows on you and so does its message of how easily the milk of human kindness can turn sour. It's not anti-American. Its story is universal and couldn't be more vital at this point in world affairs. Pure genius from the irascible Von Trier.

2. Before Sunset

A sentimental favorite for sure. Almost a decade ago, I fell in love with "Before Sunrise" by accident (I had avoided watching it due to my past Ethan Hawke aversion). Thank goodness I did because both the original and this sequel are two of the most romantic films ever made. They (Linklater, Delpy, Hawke) could've screwed it up the second time around, but instead they somehow topped themselves with bittersweet wonder.

3.The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Sure its wacky, sure the story is wobbly, but with quirky writing, wry acting and Andersonian art direction like this I'm not gonna quibble. It'll put a silly grin on your face, guaranteed.

4. Sideways

Smart, funny, sad, refreshing and truly "American" (in a good way).

5. The Five Obstructions

Another Von Trier triumph, this time in documentary form as one director pushes another to leave his comfort zone. And another frustratingly fascinating study in human behavior.

6. Coffee and Cigarettes

Sure, its got some clunkers in the mix (The White Stripes segment was paaaainful), but when it hits, it hits big with terrific performances by the amazing Cate Blanchett (breathtaking in a dual role) and other oddball celebrity pairings. Like "Before Sunset," this film proves there's nothing as satisfying as good conversation.

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

While its hijinks tired me out at points, I have to applaud its pure romantic heart and flights of visual fancy.

8. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring

Zen-sational. Quiet, wise and steeped in stillness.

9. Control Room

An eye-opening documentary from inside the Middle East looking out.

10. Napolean Dynamite

It's true, there's not much too it and all the deadpan performances get a bit much, but its hard to beat the fun of watching these characters doing their thing. Dangit.

Honorable mention:

11. Last Life in the Universe

A lush, haunted interlude punctuated oddly by toilet humor.

12. Mayor of the Sunset Strip

A heart-wrenching documentary about a music starmaker in the shadows of Hollywood.

We dreamers have our way of facing rainy days

Things to do while healing up at home from eye surgery:

1. Feel embarassed for both Tom Cruise and Elizabeth Shue for agreeing to make "Cocktail."

2. Wonder if Alicia Silverstone will be the next Quentin Tarantino comeback case.

3. Feel some relief the Barry Manilow songbook quit being stuck in head after anesthesia withdrawal.*

*Actually, I owe the Bar' a thank you. I had his greatest hits CD playing while I drove myself to the emergency room. It helped me make it through the rain.

Feeling detached

Well, I ended up getting that detached retina for Christmas after all. Pretty freaky shit, I tell you what. The good news is that I went into surgery quickly and my peeper seems to be healing up nicely. It's really made me realize what a gift that eyesight is. When I look at my sister's face or watch a film, it's with much deeper appreciation than every before.

I'm thinking of naming my firstborn after my eye surgeon, but since I'm not planning to have kids I'm not sure how to proceed. I'm not even pet person enough to have a dog or fish to call by the retinal surgeon's handle.

This whole thing has made me realize that I should probably be dating an M.D. who knows the ins and out of myopia.

Someone who will look deep into my eyes and know exactly what to do.