Last throes, don't you know

The now infamous Karl Rove quote, as reported in a recent CNN.com article:

"Liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers. Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 and the attacks and prepared for war."

As Harry Shearer observantly pointed out on his radio program Le Show, the Democrats who called for an apology from Rove failed to call attention to a glaring omission in Rove's comments: it is a documented fact that the Conservatives had been preparing for war before 9/11.

Another Rove-related excerpt from the article:

"He added that the Democratic Party made the mistake of calling for 'moderation and restraint' after the terrorist attacks."

Moderation and restraint, aye? How ironic that a Conservative would criticize a Liberal for showing moderation and restraint. The therapy reference sounds like it could have been lifted from a bombastic "Best of Limbaugh" transcript. I have no idea what the therapy reference was based on, but what difference does it make now? The sound bite has bitten. And who really has time to fact check anymore? For Pete's sake, the State Department has sunk to misquoting Bono.

Film forum

Another "meme" (gawd, I loathe that term) quizzy mcquizzington. This one found on Filmbrain. I won't tag anyone this time, but it'd be cool to read your answers if you want to park them in my comments section or on your own online byline.

1. Total number of films I own on DVD and video

Around 100 total. I'm trying to be discerning in my DVD acquisitions, so only 35 so far.

2. Last film I bought

Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic. When I walked out of the theater, I figured I'd never bother to see it again. Two days later I was craving scenes from it. Like Bill Murray dancing in his wetsuit or Willem Dafoe saying, "Are you fighting?"

3. Last film I watched

Me You and Everyone We Know by Miranda July. Quirky is as quirky does, which is pretty well when it comes to the awards circuit. I dug it, but I celebrate weird. The girl's got writing and directing chops, no doubt.

4. Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order)

Bottle Rocket: In a magazine interview, Quentin Tarantino used the term "hang out movie" to describe a film that you rewatch again and again just because you want to hang out with the characters. This is definitely one of those movies for me. "On the run from Johnny Law. Ain't no trip to Cleveland."

Amelie: My role model. Plus, I wanted to get a foreign language film in the mix to seem more cosmopolitan. Probably should have picked Fellini.

Stuart Saves His Family: A friend of mine uses the movie Harold and Maude to determine if a suitor is worthy. If the guy gets it, he's in. I've never put a guy to the Stuart test, but I've always thought if I met someone who was a big fan of this film, he would probably be a keeper. Funniest 12-step film ever. "I wouldn't normally say this, but can you get to a pound cake?"

Dogville: This definitely isn't a film I watch a lot, but it does mean a lot to me. It's fascinating, horrifying and edifying. A friend's teacher told her class, "Everyone in America should see that film." I couldn't agree more.

Annie Hall: Always and forever, #1 in mi corazon.

Dear Wendy

A new von Trier movie? Yes, please! Actually, Thomas Vinterberg (The Celebration) directs and Lars penned the screenplay, but consider me there.

imdb.com synopsis: "A young boy in a nameless, timeless American town establishes a gang of youthful misfits united in their love of guns and their code of honor."

The official Dear Wendy site.

July Six

This weekend's movie pick was Miranda July's Me You and Everyone We Know, a fresh-faced indie film that surfs along the shore of odd to a fault, but never beaches itself. My friend C-girl summed it up best with the word, "startling."

In some ways July is the femme flip-side of Wes Anderson (with ill-fitting shades of Todd Solondz thrown in). If you would tear open the lining of Anderson's tightly tailored quirkiness, you would find the loose strings and uneven weave of July's sensibilities. Both mine humor from the peculiar with great success and coach delightful performances out of their casts. July's out-of-left-field dialogue is a delight to the ears and her direction quite masterful for a first-time feature filmmaker.

***

One of the highlights of a pretty darn snazzy weekend was getting picked by the wicked cool Malice to fill in the blanks on a "Your Current Six Favorite Songs" tag relay. When I read her entry that announced my six song statitician status, I actually squealed aloud, "Aww, she tagged me!" (Luckily, I live alone.)

I recently dusted off some homemade compilation discs friends of mine gave me in the early Aughts, so this has affected the content of my list to a great extent.(Ed. note: I have also stepped beyond the tag parameters to include my favorite line from each song.)

My Current Top Six Favorite Songs

1. "Red Dragon Tattoo" by Fountains of Wayne
(Favorite line: "...now I look a little more like that guy from Korn.")

2. "Jenny and the Ess-Dog" by Stephen Malkmus
(Favorite line: "...and off came those awful toe rings.")

3. "Waltz #2 (XO)" by Elliot Smith
(Favorite line: "I'm never gonna know you now, but I'm gonna love you anyhow."

4. "Always" by Rilo Kiley
(Favorite line: "The phantom is disguised. It's horrifyin', right before your eyes.")

5. "Ditty" by Paperboy
(Favorite line: "If I was a vacuum, I'd be sucking up the competition.")

6. "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues" by The Eels
(Favorite line: "Goddamn right, it's a beautiful day.")

And now I will tag a few folks to see if they care to reveal what their inner DJ is spinning of late:

TV Zero (who is responsible for many of the cool compilation discs in my possession)
Jenny J
Baggage
Disco Dave
Daysleeper
Pablo

Bye-bye Dre

I feel it only honorable to give a shout-out to my web mentor of sorts, Mr. T, as he starts a new business venture and becomes a former coworker of mine rather than someone I laugh with biweekly by the water cooler. He is a good guy, super smart and funny, and deserves the success life has sent his way in both his love and career sectors. If it wasn't for him I might not have ever started writing online, so for that I owe him a debt of gratitude. Plus, he's just cool. Bully for the boy.

All that nice stuff said, his going-away party was a mixed-bag. Sure there was the warm-hearted chuckling over an interoffice England-Scotland rivalry and deep-fried Mars bars. Sure there was the gaggle of cool people along with quesadillas and margaritas. But who invited obnoxious gate crasher guy who turned an innocent inquiry into his musical tastes into a 20-minute diatribe on why KISS is so damn cool? Other bejeweled quotes he dropped included, "I could have either stared at your tits for four hours or asked you what your shirt said, so I asked what your shirt said" and "Don't be a dick, text me!" Gotta love L.A.

A very special Teen Girl Squad

Another genius cartoon from homestarrunner.com

New neighbor. Nice.

One of my favorite Diaryland denizens has pulled up stakes to do the Blogspot boogie. Hooray for prose princess Malice making the move. Or as she might say, "Huzzah!"

More tales from the biggest little city

Just have to give another shout-out to the funniness that is Reno 911.

On the first season DVD, one episode opens with the tragically dorky Deputy Trudy Wiegel cruising home in her police woman uniform listening to French language tapes in her car. She prissily enunciates phrases along with the instructor on the recording—except she's not repeating the French phrases that she is supposed to be learning. It took a second for me to realize she was repeating the English examples in a very self-satisfied, however clueless, way.

Taped instructor: My husband and I have two cats. Mon mari et moi ont deux chats.

Deputy Weigel: My husband and I have two cats.

Taped instructor: I like pancakes. J'aime des crêpes.

Deputy Weigel: I like pancakes.

Funniest sketch premise I've seen in awhile, however short-lived it had to be.

I'm your huckleberry

So, yeah, I partied at a certain celebrity's Hollywood Hills house this weekend thanks to my friend K-girl's connections. OK, so the certain celebrity was out of town at the time. And, OK, the party was thrown by some people renting the house for two weeks. But STILL.

Who was the celebrity, you ask? Let's just say if you need any ICE, MAN, just knock on his DOORS.

The party was thrown by some very nice Danish lads who have some kind of hot new TV interview show in production. I don't want to drop more names, but they're going to be interviewing another certain celebrity on Monday. Who, you ask? Or to rephrase that, "Who you talking 'bout, Willis?"

I have to say there are few things more enjoyable than good friends, good drinks and tasty sandwiches handmade at midnight by a shaggy-haired, 25-year-old drummer named Svend. That's living.

Butterfly hips

At one point during my online dating days, I considered writing this in my profile to set me apart from the crowd:

"I am one of five single women in the L.A. basin without a lower back tattoo."

I think there are three of us now.

Music man

He: I saw P.J. Harvey in concert and it was amazing. I was pushed up against the stage and it was like she was singing right to me. I'm in love with her. And Halle Berry.

She: Aww, man! What could Halle possibly have that P.J. doesn't?

He: Boobs.

HRH

My friend P-girl recently attended her nephew's preschool graduation, which featured a video interview with each of the graduates. Questions included their name, what they liked best about preschool and what they wanted to be when they grew up.

While P-girl's nephew confidently announced he planned to be Spider-Man, she was more disturbed by the female students' vocational choices. Although one little girl declared she'd like to be a "cooker" who "made apple pies," the job of "princess" was the number one pick by a landslide.

How does one go about preparing for a career as a princess, I wonder? Certainly one must be comfortable riding in carriages and be able to perambulate gracefully in glass slippers down sweeping staircases. Ballroom dancing should be in the curriculum, as well as how to transition tulle from day to night and keep an up-do looking immaculate. Can you get a school loan for a Bachelor's in blueblood behavior?

Is anyone going to clue these little girls in to the fact that princess is a job you either have to be born into or gain by marriage? Don't they know that the odds are they are each doomed to be commoners for the rest of their lives?

I don't know if Greenspan's considered this trend, but based on the preschool graduating class of 2005 I predict a royalty bubble in 2021.

Popstrology

What's your song sign? This site will tell you the song that was #1 on the charts the week you were born, so that you can gain deeper insight into how radio waves might have permeated your little newborn cranium with the melody that was to guide your life in perhaps yet unrealized ways. Or something.

My song: Herman's Hermits' "Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter"

I'll take that as a compliment, although my mother's surname doesn't match.

I also didn't realize I was a member of the second Beatles generation, but I like the sound of that:

"What sets the children of the second Beatles generation apart, popstrologically speaking, is their ability to take that loathing and channel it into some rather positive reinvention."

Found via the delightful, afternoon or not, Malice.

What's the matter

So Tom Cruise saw fit to criticize Brooke Shields for taking Paxil for her post-partum depression. It's true the U.S. is an over-medicated nation, but if popping a reuptake inhibitor prevented Brooke from pulling a Suddenly Susan Smith and possibly harming her child, I'd put that as a checkmark in the "good thing" column.

To Brooke's credit, she had a snappy comeback after Cruise implied her career had suffered as a result. She mentioned to the press that Tom was officially invited to see her musical in London. She promised to leave two tickets at the box office, "One adult, one child."

If the writing on her sitcom had been that witty, I might've watched it.

***

My friend S-girl recently encouraged me to watch HBO's production of Tony Kushner's Angels in America (now on DVD), so thank you to her. I remember all the Broadway fuss, but I had no idea what I was missing. It's been so long since I've seen "good theater," I doubted the hype was right. Well, it was.

The bracing drama examines "America" in the abstract against the burgeoning specter of AIDS in the 1980s. Remarkably thought-provoking and breath-taking. I'd heard how terrific Mel Streep and Al Pacino were in it, but the most impressive performance is that of Justin Kirk as Pryor Walter. Holy toledo, the boy can act.

On a related topic, a beautifully written piece by Tony Valenzuela in the L.A. Weekly on how crystal meth has seduced the gay community. As troubling as the topic is, his writing carried me along like a skipping stone on a glassy lake. Bravo.

Life is funny

It was an odd day. I'll give it that. Perhaps touched with a bit of magic.

Exhibit A: A strange almost-run-in with a sort-of-not-really-ex in a very unexpected place. Since he is now an engaged man, it gives me great comfort that the shearing of his Samson tresses has also removed much of his sex appeal in my book. And he now has a little belly. You never want an ex, even a sort-of-not-really-ex, to become buffer and more babe-esque once you two are history.

Exhibit B: Doing laundry with a transvestite. Just a Geoffrey Rush-looking middle-aged fellow in a conservative fushcia blouse and long floral skirt. He looked self-conscious as our eyes met, and went about folding his pink towels and white tube socks quietly like a shy, oddly outfitted mouse. For some reason, he made me feel sad and comforted at the same time.

***

In movie news: Funny Ha Ha, a new indie film that's gotten rave reviews. On the minus side, it was such a thin slice of life that the abrupt ending felt like a rip-off. On the plus side, it almost had a documentary feeling with its real-to-life dialogue and plain jane scenarios. Even though the script's realistic stammerings and "likes" became frustrating at points, darnit if that ain't how a lot of people, especially 24-year-olds in life limbo, talk.

The lead actress, Kate Dollenmayer, did an amazing job just "being." (Could we be looking at the next Scarlett Johansson? There's definitely a Ghostly Worldness to her.)

Director/writer/actor Andrew Bujalski deftly captured the boring, in-between moments of life that make up most of it. His performance as an insecure temp-worker was as impressive as Dollenmayer's.

The audience I saw it with was clearly displeased as the credits rolled. Statements like "I want my money back" and "I expected something to happen" were peppered among the bewildered guffaws.

I, um, like, still thought it was worth seeing for forgiving indie fans. I mean, yeah. You know?

News from the front

Found on Wonkette.com:

Regarding the news story about mercenaries accusing Marines of abuse:

"However this story plays out, we see tough days ahead for pundits. After all, if you believe the mercenaries, you're objectively pro-Saddam, right? And if you believe the Marines, well, we think, by undermining American capitalism, you're still objectively pro-Saddam. War really is hell."
— Greg Beato

***

Soldiers express their tour of duty experiences and frustrations on their own rap album.

Famous last words

An interesting Pigs and Battleships post reviews some stumbles in John Kerry's campaign, but I think it all comes down to his infamous foot-in-mouth moment when he said, "I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it." You could almost hear the echo of Howard Dean's primal scream.

Sadly, the U.S. is a sound bite nation where retractions, corrections and explanations are hidden in the back of the newspaper days later. Even though there was a good explanation behind his statement, in that one sentence Kerry gave traction to the opposition's accusations of flip-flopping. Even worse, it implied indecision about the war in Iraq. People sitting on the fence didn't need much to scare them over towards the cowboy confident incumbent.

I was heartbroken when Kerry lost, but hopefully it's given the Democratic party a few years to grow an identity. As ole number 43 might say, I just wish they wouldn't misunderestimate themselves so much.

Dubya flubya

An ABC News poll reports that Dubya's approval score is falling. Seems like some of those red states may be waking up to the reality that putting their vote in the fear column didn't pay off:

"For the first time, most Americans, 55 percent, say Bush has done more to divide than to unite the country. A career-high 52 percent disapprove of his job performance overall, and, in another first, a bare majority rates him unfavorably on a personal level. Most differ with him on issues ranging from the economy and Social Security to stem-cell research and nuclear power."

I admit, it's in bad taste

I heard that during the shoot for the controversial Paris Hilton Carl's Jr. TV commercial, which features her suggestively washing an automobile and gnawing a burger in a strappy black swimsuit, she would spit out her bites of food when the director yelled "cut." I haven't seen her infamous sex video, so am not sure if it's her habit not to swallow.

I could easily ask you the same question.

I watched the HBO biopic The Life and Death of Peter Sellers this weekend and was disappointed. Partly by the gimmicky, fourth-wall-breaking film-making, partly by finding out he was such a jerk in his personal life. Then again, it's evidently quite difficult to be a genius in one's career and at home. And many funny men are fueled by anger. All that said, Geoffrey Rush's performance was top-notch.

The upside of seeing part of his life story was that it reminded me how amazing Sellers was in Dr. Strangelove and the Pink Panther movies, making me want to revisit those films. Now I'm also curious about Being There, the film that earned him an Oscar nomination. Hello, Netflix queue.

Even though he treated his first wife so shabbily (one of the most distressing, yet somehow funny parts of the film was his failed seduction of Sophia Loren and the resulting family fallout), when he passed away the original Mrs. Sellers' photo was the only one in his wallet. So there was a soft soft in Peter's cellar. Badumbump.

Clouseau: Does your dog bite?
Hotel Clerk: No.
Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie.
[Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand]
Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

Filibuster this, baby

Too bad U.S. citizens can't text message up or down votes on Bush nominees, American Idol-style.

I had heard bad things about the belligerent ways of controversial U.S. ambassador to the U.N. nominee John Bolton, but this video proves that bad facial hair choices are not his own flaw.

Found on The Huffington Post

Did the bed move for you, too?

Last night the oddest thing happened. I went to bed and had a dream that something icky (oh, I don't know, like a rat) was crawling down my wall towards me. In the dream, I pushed myself away from the wall to avoid the rodent and that was that. Only it wasn't. This morning I woke up to find my bed at a diagonal across the room. Somehow, I had managed to get up, pull the bed's frame away from the wall and climb back in without waking up. And moving the bed is something that takes great effort when I am fully lucid.

Freakin' weird. So either I moved furniture in my sleep or my apartment is haunted. Neither option a good one.

I just hope I'm not starting some new noctural hobby. I don't want to wake up in some intersection with my PJs on. I looked up "sleepwalking" on WebMD and didn't get many answers. I did find out that there are people who "sleep eat," awakening to find whole sticks of butter gone from their refrigerator.

A friend of mine mused about how awful it would be to be gaining weight from sleep eating and not know why. That's when I got the idea for a helpful sleep disorder: sleep exercising. It would be such a great way to stay in shape while still getting eight hours of Z's. I think I'll call it "Shut-eye Bo."