You say beignet, I say Colbert

Like I needed another reason to adore Stephen Colbert. But should my affection ever flag, I can just rewatch this clip of Colbert interviewing a hilariously serious congresswoman by the name of Norton. I'd want both of them on my side in an alley fight.

Sticky wicket

I know there's a lot of web luv out there for Wikipedia, but it's always chapped my hide how fast and loose that user-compiled information source can be with the facts. Sure, if I was to trust the words of former President Reagan, I would accept that facts are stupid things. Why be so uptight if a historical date is a little off or if someone James Frey-ized a famous person's bio with a little hearsay? C'mon! Relax, dude. It's kinda, sorta informative. It's a triumph of populism! Who needs those uptight brainiacs at Encyclopedia Brittanica fact-checking minutia up in their ivory towers? This is information remixed, yo. Truthiness is where's it at. As my hero Colbert would say, "Don't look it up in a book, look it up in your gut." And the Internet's unofficial gut is Wikipedia.

Sure, I sometimes turn to the site if I need to research something in a down and dirty way, fully knowing that the information I'm reading could be iffy, wobbly or even erroneous. One moment of non-truth came when I was researching the Chateau Marmont hotel, the Hollywood landmark where James Belushi met his maker. The Wikipedia entry listed the location of this storied establishment as Scottsdale, Arizona. WTF? If something as glaring as that appears on the old Wiki-Wiki, how are you supposed to take it seriously when it comes to important information?

All that makes this article from The Onion all the more hilarious and spot-on: Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years of American Independence. The headline says it all, but the article is worth a read, too. Enjoy.

Ice, ice, baby

So the best thing I can say about Clerks 2 is that the theater I saw it in had air-conditioning. Nah, that's kind of a sick burn. What I really mean to say is that there were a few funny parts, lots of bad acting and not much of a plot. Pretty much like the first one. Although the original does benefit from the nostaglia filter. Plus, the first film had the benefit of low-budget low expectations and underdog appeal.

My favorite scene in the new release is when Randal disses the LotR film trilogy, since I was one of the few immune to its charms (and can claim some street cred from having loved J.R.R.'s books). And I have to give a shout-out to Jason Mewes as Jay for his irresistible screen persona, even more impressive after reading about his crazy personal history in Entertainment Weekly.

The best test of the sequel will be how many quotable lines survive the test of time. Something tells me there's nothing in it that will top the original. For example, this classic line from the first film:

Dante, to a customer who has gotten his hand stuck in a can of Pringles:

"A word of advice, my friend. Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go."

***

My rumor of Jon Stewart's decline was greatly exaggerated. You need only watch this clip of him animatedly ribbing CNN on its use of question marks in its headline graphics regarding the nightmare that is Lebanon in the cross-fire.

Sweaty, plucky, icky and funny

I wish those who still smirk at the notion of global warming could've been in my apartment this weekend. Not because I like to play hostess to those who bury their heads in the sand about inconvenient truths, but because my apartment was so freaking hot--despite the fact that I live within 15 miles of the Pacific Ocean--that I was on the verge of eating polar bears.

In an attempt to restore a non-feverish body temperature, I escaped to the cinema and saw the Spanish farce Only Human. I had read great things about it, but it was only so-so. Ever since seeing Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown in a musty, old, beach theater, my standards for what makes a successful farce have been set very high. It was enjoyable, don't get me wrong. And the cast thrust themselves into the fun with admirable pluck, but overall the comedic choreography lacked zing. As a rental, it will make a fun night behind the popcorn bowl. And if you haven't seen Women on the Verge..., do yourself a favor and queue that bad boy up.

In other entertainment news, Project Runway is back. The first episode of season three was a bit boring, but season two was a hard act to follow. The only thing of note to me was the way Michael Kors' eyes lit up at the sight of the handsome Jude Law-ish (but brunette) Keith. I predict a generous Daniel V.-esque job offer from Kors if Keith manages to stick around. Now if they will only send home the dude with the neck tattoo. Just looking at the snaking ink around his neck makes me short of breath, and not in a good way.

Clips of the week:

From The Daily Show, an absolutely creepy Dubya tries to get laughs with a pork-related callback.

From The Colbert Report, one of the best interview guests Stephen's had on when it comes to someone approaching his quick wit: Mr. Mort Zuckerman.

Trust an American. Cut a tax.

In movie news:

I'm really looking forward to seeing Clerks 2, since I was a big fan of the original indie classic. I read that the sequel got an eight-minute standing ovation at Cannes, but that could be due to the Jerry Lewis factor (i.e., French people enjoying seeing Americans making asses of themselves).

I just saw a commercial for Woody Allen's new film Scoop and was surprised by the fact that they're announcing it with the phrase "from the director of Match Point." Not a breath about the Woodster's involvement, although he is featured in the clips. Kind of sad his name no longer carries cachet, at least to those studio marketing types.

In political news:

On The Daily Show tonight, I saw a clip of Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi singing Elvis songs in the presence of Dubya. I had heard other sound bites earlier in the week, but didn't realize he'd serenaded Dubbie with the apropos lyric: "Wise men say, only fools rush in." Nice work, Koizumi.

Speaking of Dubya, I was so relieved to hear that the Supreme Court had ruled against the U.S. administration's Wild West justice policy regarding the Guantanamo detainees and that White House was responding respectfully. Could some modicum of sanity be returning?

I was reading a post regarding the matter in the blog of a right-wing citizen today. I was really disappointed in the hysterical tone that he took towards the decision, slamming all the newspapers and magazines that had featured positive editorials on the subject saying that you wouldn't want those publications to have your back in a knife fight. Hmm. Maybe you'd want them to have your back if you were falsely accused of starting a knife fight, aye?

I guess it's no surprise that neo-con types would be angry that the Supreme Court had called their beloved Bush "on the carpet" for the Gitmo limbo, but it seems ridiculous to me that they don't understand that snubbing the Geneva Convention only hurts the U.S. by putting American soldiers at more risk, fueling more jihadist revenge and losing the respect of the U.S.'s current or potential allies. The old "slippery slope" syndrome. Their argument is that this is a post-September 11 world. The enemy doesn't wear uniforms or come from a sovereign nation. So, the rules of war have changed. That shouldn't excuse creating legal and moral loopholes that will only backfire on those who leap through them.

In the same post, and its related comments from readers, there was heated criticism of the Supreme Court as being made up of "activist judges." Didn't seem to bother them when the same institution basically gave their Commander-in-Chief his job in the first place. (See: Florida voting scandal.)

Since I wasn't familiar with the specifics of the Geneva Convention myself, I appreciated that MSNBC.com offered this summary:

"There have been four Geneva Conventions, each subsequently amended.

The first Geneva Convention was adopted in 1864 and provided for protection of sick and wounded soldiers on the field of battle.

The second convention, formulated in 1868, extended those protections to sailors wounded in sea battles.

The third convention, in 1929, protected prisoners of war. It legislated that prisoners of war were not criminals and should be treated humanely and released at the end of hostilities.

The fourth convention, ratified in 1949, rewrote, expanded, and replaced the language of the first three conventions. It brought civilians under the protection of international laws that prohibit murder, torture, hostage-taking, and extra-judicial sentencing and executions. In 1977, two protocols were added to the Geneva Conventions of 1949, extending protection to victims of conflicts not formally declared as wars and to victims of civil conflict within a state. In each category, protection extends to the medical, religious, and humanitarian aid personnel helping affected groups. As of June 1993, 178 states were signatories to the 1949 Conventions, with 61 ratifications."

Hmm. Makes damn good sense to me. But then again, so did the Kyoto Treaty. Global community. What a quaint idea.

One hundred hairs make a man

My cinematic treat for the weekend was a French offering by director Emmanuel Carrere, who wrote the novel the film is based on. The title of this delectable double-dip of suspense and wry humor is La Moustache.

Out of sheer laziness and a need to leave for the gym before it gets too late, I'm going to post the neatly crafted mini-review that L.A. Weekly writer Scott Foundas gave this lovely jewel box of a film. My only quibble with his take on the movie is that he describes the beautiful female lead Emmanuel Devos (also brilliant in a similarly enigmatic role in last year's Kings and Queen) as being "Rubenesque."

Let me tell you, I just viewed a Rubens collection at The Getty Museum and got a close-up look at the fleshy folds his glowing pale females boasted around their midsections. Emmanuel Devos, even with the ten pounds the camera is said to add, is curvy, but in a very slender, fit way. Not even approaching plump. It just goes to show how the skeletal standard of Hollywood beauty has skewed the eye of the beholder.

Here is Scott's review, for your perusal:

"LA MOUSTACHE - A man named Marc (Vincent Lindon) wonders “What if I shaved off my mustache?” Then, he does it, and with that one simple gesture tips his life into existential crisis. No one, it seems — not even Marc’s own wife (Emmanuelle Devos) — remembers that he ever had a mustache, and before long, other seismic changes are taking hold in Marc’s post-hirsute universe, unnoticed by all but him. Is Marc going crazy? Or has he just lost his sense of self, along with that hair on his upper lip? Those are cards that French director Emmanuel Carrère’s debut narrative feature holds close to its vest for most of its running time — a tactic that may irritate as many viewers as it enchants. But the pleasure of La Moustache is that it doesn’t feel the need to explain itself at every turn. Part absurdist comedy about the institution of marriage, part paranoid Kafkaesque fantasy, it’s a minor-key reverie on the way our own lives can sometimes feel alien to us. Not least, it’s also a fine showcase for two of the most appealing actors in French movies today: the dapper Lindon, who manifests his character’s mushrooming confusion with dogged precision, and Devos, ever radiant in her Rubenesque beauty."

Based on a true story

This holiday weekend brought with it two cinematic outings of the documentary sort.

The Road to Guantanamo
The review quotes featured in advertising for this quasi-documentary use words like "stunning," "timely," "gripping," "remarkable." Yes, it is all those things and more. Director Michael Winterbottom has created a devastatingly effective reenactment of the capture and imprisonment of three British citizens who took an ill-advised side-trip on a wedding holiday and found themselves in a war zone during the post 9/11 bombing of Afghanistan. Arrested as suspected Taliban fighters, they are brutalized, endlessly interrogated and treated like animals during their years of imprisonment.

Talking head clips of the three former prisoners relating their experiences are smoothly interwoven with the reenactment footage, keeping the drama firmly anchored in reality. The young actors portraying the men do a brilliant job. Their faces, along with the faces of the real-life trio, stayed with me for hours after seeing the film. Their horrifying experiences haunted me. And to think they were the lucky ones who were finally heard and released. Some falsely accused men still sit behind barbed wire wondering what's to become of them. Thank god the Supreme Court recently ruled against the White House's irresponsible and cruel policy towards these "enemy combatants" left to twist in the wind without charges or evidence.

Winterbottom's skilled filmmaking proves that "this happened, then that happened" true-life stories can be visually and artistically compelling, while still conveying the facts. I'd call it a must-see for any American who gives a damn about how the world is treated in our nation's name.


Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man
I wasn't familiar with Cohen's work until about five years ago when my friend P-girl included "Hallelujah" and "Suzanne" on a mix CD for me. Then last summer she took me to a tribute night where artists like Inara George and Michelle Shocked covered Cohen's work under the stars in Topanga Canyon. That was the real eye-opener (or ear-opener) for me. Something about hearing other voices singing his words and melodies made me realize how brilliant, and prolific, a songwriter he really is.

Perhaps that's part of what inspired filmmaker Lian Lunson to build a movie tribute to Cohen around a tribute concert held in Canada a couple of years back. While I enjoyed the film--including the concert clips--it definitely left me wanting to know more about the man, the myth, the monk. I had expected to learn more about Cohen's life and loves, but the selected tidbits that are shared do help frame his work and life. He is a very charming man and a true inspiration. My favorite interview clip was about his early writing days with his circle of poet friends, relating how they would critique each other's work mercilessly--never excusing a single flaw in each other's choice of words. No wonder Cohen's lyrics are so polished, potent and poignant.

The most enlightening description I've read of the film was written by Zach at his Elusive Lucidity blog. I really enjoyed his reflections on the artist himself and the artistic process in general. And I have to agree with him, too, on finding Bono (who waxes poetic about Cohen in the doc) to be smirk-inducing.

Perhaps inspired by Leonard, here is a poem for the night:

Squinting at celebrity cellulite
In the checkout line
Nightlights and nectarines await

Smooth-scalped, he seemed to smile
At my silent savoring of
those public imperfections

"Mostly good," he answered the clerk's inquiry
"Mostly good," I mused to myself
Nightlights and nectarines and away

Walk on by

Best overheard quote of the weekend:
"And fourthly, she was all mussed up--like from making out."

Fourthly. Awesome.

Best magazine cover of the weekend:
Woody Allen on the cover of New York magazine with a lip-glossed, Lolita-ish Scarlett Johansson in a cherry-picked vintage swimsuit.

Best concert of the weekend:
Built to Spill at the tiny Troubadour club from the V.I.P. loft (ahem) with K-girl. They put on an amazing show--such passion, such intelligent beauty. I've decided a dream concert would be a BTS/Radiohead double bill. I'm an even a bigger fan now that I've found out that lead singer Doug Martsch and I have a keep-it-like-a-secret bond--we've had both detached retina surgery.

Worst film rental of the weekend:
Walk the Line. When I saw the trailer, something told me I wouldn't like it.
When I saw the Oscar hoopla, something told me I wasn't going to like it. Something was right. You see, it told the story of Johnny Bland and June Carter Ham. I was so bored, I hit the fast-forward button numerous times and still felt like I'd wasted time by watching it. While many compare it to Ray for the similar rags-to-riches, self-destructive musician bios, I felt Ray was superior in expressing the heart and soul of the performer--even though that film suffered from a lack of imaginative storytelling/direction, too.

I'm a fan of Johnny Cash and couldn't stand the pasteurized way his story was expressed on-screen. The only thing nice I can say about it is that it made me dust off my Cash's greatest hits CD. I'm also looking forward to his American V release. The tracks I've heard from it are heart-breakingly beautiful--stripped down sounds of a man nearing the end of his remarkable life's road.